you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
