So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it glows. i had to have it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
