Screwed.edu
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
