It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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