also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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