Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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