At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
