Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
