dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Vodka?
Forever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
