I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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