Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
now i know why i became what i already was.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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