If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
