Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize