god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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