Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize