should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I pour the whiskey from now on
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
