white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
