I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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