we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
