I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize