Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
