Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
