I cockslap morals
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
