Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
