dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
