i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
