New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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