That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize