I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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