I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
