planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
