when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
