she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Randomize
