Plan B is the new Plan A
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
