Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize