he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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