is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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