i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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