he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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