Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
