No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
