Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
