the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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