We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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