..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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