so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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