I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
