That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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