You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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