I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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