Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I looked at my own cervix.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
