i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
