First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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