i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
