I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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