we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
