this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
