He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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