I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
