so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
