Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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