Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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